Sometimes You Just Do Not Know What to Say

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail." 

Jack Burton - Big Trouble in Little China

I have been in plenty of situations like the one above and I guess that is why the quote appeals so much to me. When faced with either someone telling how they are going to hurt me or a woman telling me the things she wants to do with me, I always wielded my sarcasm like a kung fu master.  Good sarcasm makes you look fearless an the most opportune moments.  The problem is that there are time when sarcasm is not the way to go. Sometimes you just have to stare crazy in the face and laugh a nervous laugh and walk away.

Like tonight.

I am giving my 3.5 year old daughter a shower when she looks me straight in the eyes and we have this exact conversation;

Daughter: "Daddy, the loco party started at 7."

Me: "Ughhh, what are you talking about?"

Daugther: " The loco party started at 7 and the loco truck will be here as soon as I get out of the shower."

Me: Laughing nervously "What makes you say that darling?"

Daughter:"Oh daddy, you are loco just like me. You are really going to like the loco truck."

Of course I am trying to figure out just what kind of hellish thing my child is channeling when she laughs and finishes off the whole scene with a quick; "It is okay to be insane in the membranes."

After that the my child finished her shower and went back to normal. 

It is moments like that were sarcasm has no place because it went way past weird and straight into scary.

It is also valuable to remember that 3.5 year olds do not get sarcasm so you are wasting a hell of shot trying to save face by unleashing some on her. 

I am still sleeping with something sharp under my pillow tonight.